Issue: no brain found, please press F1 to continue

Call Center:

"We have figured out the issue already but are sad to inform you that we haven't got a fix yet for the stupidity bug encountered"

All in one?

Five tips for a woman

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other

Simple Equation

How To Impress A Woman

Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewellery, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

How to impress a man:
Show up naked ... Bring chicken wings ... Don't block the TV


The Moods of a Woman...

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction.
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk.
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

The Moods of a Man....

Hungry.
Horny.
Sleepy

Refund what?

Tech Support

WuW - what u want

"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."
Ben Stein

Destino

Não interessa o que acabamos por fazer, interessa sim como la chegamos.

Life is...

"Life's a bitch,
Then you marry one,
and then you die"

.... or not!


For El Negro

Oh my dear customer

"No sir, I am not angry at YOU, I am angry at the random act of fate that redirected your call to my extension..."

For M.

The Hand of Hope

The story behind the hand.

Lugar certo à hora certa...

E porque a vida tem destas coisas...
Em Barcelona um jovem viu um bebé de 2 anos cair de um 3º andar e conseguiu amparar lhe a queda, salvando deste modo a vida do menino.

Notícia completa aqui.

Txu myself and Gume

T: "Voltou-se a desligar sozinho, o computador!!!...."

G: "Então e já entendeste porque é que ele faz isso?"

....
T: "Não!... Ainda não sou psicóloga de computadores!..."



Será a profissão do futuro? Psicologia Informatica? Entender as máquinas...

Taking life as a gift

conversa 918

(...)
Eu - O Ontem pertence à História, o Amanhã é um mistério. O Hoje é que é uma prenda e deve ser aproveitado. Por isso é que lhe chamam Presente...
Ela - Que frase bonita. É tua?
Eu - Não... é do Kung Fu Panda, aquele filme para crianças que está nos cinemas...


retirado de Nao compreendo as mulheres

iPOD

Homens

[Vocês meninas vão entender...]

Ha homens como certas peças de roupa: na montra lindos mas vestidos mais vale deixá-los na montra mesmo... :)


For T.

Schlitg Beer

Retirado a Nao Compreendo as mulheres

Desemprego

... segundo Quino

Travelling

The world is our oyster.


For M.

Mimo

Sou fã incondicionavel de MIMO !! :)

de ou do ??


Mimo
do Lat. mimu

s. m.,
coisa delicada que se oferece;
prenda;
blandícia;
primor;
coisa encantadora;
actor mímico;
histrião;
representação burlesca.

Pixar - Curta

Acordar cedo (demais)

O meu último dia em early shift querendo isto dizer que acordo às 5h30... pela última vez nas próximas semanas... Ao que eu só posso acrescentar:

A Modern Fairy Tale

Once upon a time
In a land far away,
A beautiful, independent,
Self-assured princess
Happened upon a frog as she sat
Contemplating ecological issues
On the shores of an unpolluted pond
In a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
And said: "Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
Until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
And I will turn back
Into the dapper, young prince that I am
And then, my sweet, we can marry
And set up housekeeping in your castle
With my mother,
Where you can prepare my meals,
Clean my clothes, bear my children,
And forever feel
Grateful and happy doing so. "

That night,
As the princess dined sumptuously
On lightly sauteed frog legs
Seasoned in a white wine
And onion cream sauce,
She chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't fucking think so.